3D
The Last Piece
by burton wills · submitted Jul 19, 2009 · 2009 contest
1 / 17
Description
“So, you’re making a naked fat guy cake for your daughter’s birthday?” It was the question that changed the course of an entire cake.
“They’re not really naked, they’re sumo wrestlers. Look at the shirt,” I answered.
“Hey, that’s a funny shirt. But you’re only sculpting them from the waist up. It’s going to look like a group of naked fat guys fighting over…what is that thing?”
“It’s a sushi roll,” I said.
“Is your daughter into sumo wrestlers…or naked fat guys in general?”
“No,” I replied, “There’s this contest…”
“…because my daughter is into Hello Kitty and Barbie. I think the Naked Fat Guy thing is better left until her bachelorette party. How old is she? 11? And what does she say about the naked fat guy thing?”
“She’s at camp this week. She’ll see it when she gets home…she’s 12.” I said.
“It will be such a proud moment when she’s on Oprah some day saying her childhood came to a crashing end when she got a naked fat guy cake for her 12th birthday.”
“What do you suggest?” I asked.
“Clothing,” was the reply. “Or you could take it in a totally different direction; It kind of looks like Mount Rushmore if it had been designed by Salvador Dali. What’s that you’re covering the cake with?”
“Modeling chocolate,” I answered, “Some of it is made from white chocolate and corn syrup and some from white chocolate and glucose. I have 2 different recipes and I’m experimenting.”
“So which recipe do you think will provide the most realistic and emotionally traumatic naked fat men?”
“I’m currently leaning towards the glucose but the verdict is still out.” I said. “Besides, they’re not naked.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night. Where do you get glucose?”
“I had a glucose tolerance test a few months back and I had some left over so I used that,” I answered.
“Really?”
“Sure,” I lied.
“Weird.”
“Look, I think your house is on fire. Maybe you’d better go.” I said.
“Naw, it always does that. So, what kind of contest is this you’re entering with this childhood shattering creation.”
I pulled up the Threadcakes web site. “Take a look ,” I said.
“Wow, these are totally cool! And you know what would be cool for your cake?”
“Here it comes.” I sighed.
“Since this is a cake competition, the naked fat guys should be fighting over a piece of cake!”
“They’re not naked fat guys, they’re…”
“And since you’re going to put clothes on them…you ARE going to put clothes on them, right? For the sake of your daughter’s emotional well-being? You could dress them in Threadless t-shirts!”
“I don’t know,” I said, “that might be pushing things a bit …” I said.
“Oh, promise me you’ll do it! You HAVE to do it!”
“If I promise, will you leave immediately?” I asked.
“I guess.”
“Deal!’ I said.
“They’re not really naked, they’re sumo wrestlers. Look at the shirt,” I answered.
“Hey, that’s a funny shirt. But you’re only sculpting them from the waist up. It’s going to look like a group of naked fat guys fighting over…what is that thing?”
“It’s a sushi roll,” I said.
“Is your daughter into sumo wrestlers…or naked fat guys in general?”
“No,” I replied, “There’s this contest…”
“…because my daughter is into Hello Kitty and Barbie. I think the Naked Fat Guy thing is better left until her bachelorette party. How old is she? 11? And what does she say about the naked fat guy thing?”
“She’s at camp this week. She’ll see it when she gets home…she’s 12.” I said.
“It will be such a proud moment when she’s on Oprah some day saying her childhood came to a crashing end when she got a naked fat guy cake for her 12th birthday.”
“What do you suggest?” I asked.
“Clothing,” was the reply. “Or you could take it in a totally different direction; It kind of looks like Mount Rushmore if it had been designed by Salvador Dali. What’s that you’re covering the cake with?”
“Modeling chocolate,” I answered, “Some of it is made from white chocolate and corn syrup and some from white chocolate and glucose. I have 2 different recipes and I’m experimenting.”
“So which recipe do you think will provide the most realistic and emotionally traumatic naked fat men?”
“I’m currently leaning towards the glucose but the verdict is still out.” I said. “Besides, they’re not naked.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night. Where do you get glucose?”
“I had a glucose tolerance test a few months back and I had some left over so I used that,” I answered.
“Really?”
“Sure,” I lied.
“Weird.”
“Look, I think your house is on fire. Maybe you’d better go.” I said.
“Naw, it always does that. So, what kind of contest is this you’re entering with this childhood shattering creation.”
I pulled up the Threadcakes web site. “Take a look ,” I said.
“Wow, these are totally cool! And you know what would be cool for your cake?”
“Here it comes.” I sighed.
“Since this is a cake competition, the naked fat guys should be fighting over a piece of cake!”
“They’re not naked fat guys, they’re…”
“And since you’re going to put clothes on them…you ARE going to put clothes on them, right? For the sake of your daughter’s emotional well-being? You could dress them in Threadless t-shirts!”
“I don’t know,” I said, “that might be pushing things a bit …” I said.
“Oh, promise me you’ll do it! You HAVE to do it!”
“If I promise, will you leave immediately?” I asked.
“I guess.”
“Deal!’ I said.
